Answering your burning questions… with a shrug
Frequently Asked Questions
A collection of questions we get often—along with our best attempts at answering them without starting a holy war.
Welcome to the Frequently Asked Questions of the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic. Here, we half-heartedly tackle the questions people keep asking—about our views on morality, holidays like Christmas and Halloween, blasphemy, and why we bother existing as a church if we’re so allegedly apathetic. Whether you’re doing a school project on agnosticism or just wondering how someone can live without divine micromanagement, we offer clear, honest answers—with minimal evangelizing.
Curious about how agnostics celebrate (or ignore) religious traditions? Confused by our stance on commandments, blasphemy, or morality without a holy rulebook? You’re in the right place. Just don’t expect us to pretend we have all the answers.