Is there an Agnostic Trinity?

from George Folsom

Godfrey Higgins in this monumental work, The Origin of Nations, Languages and Religion, discovered that nearly all religions as far back as history is known had a 3-part Deity. These Deities, according to Higgins, when studied in depth, all resolved themselves into the sun. Apparently human history likes a 3-part Deity that has something to do with the creative force, Sun or Son and a ghost-like force that moves back and forth between people and higher or lower level beings. If this is true, does the Apathetic Agnostic Church have or feel the need for a 3-part Non-Deity or Trinity? I assume you can’t have a Deity because Deity means God. Being a recovering Baptist, can you help me replace “The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost” with an appropriate Agnostic Trinity.

Also, is there something I can do to replace the symbolic cannibalism of Christian Communion? As an Agnostic, can I just have wine with cheese and crackers while watching the sunset? If so, is there a certain wine label, flavor of cracker or brand of cheese I should partake of?

Thanks

The Patriarch replies:

George:

I’m not much on creating symbolism, but I’ll see what I can do.

First, your Trinity…

Centrally, as the sun element, I would suggest Huxley. After all he coined the term.

For the creative element, my preference would be Protagoras who I consider the first agnostic. However, a worthy alternative might be Voltaire.

And for the communicator role, I recommend Ingersoll. Other options might be Darwin, or perhaps, if one is on the left politically, Bertrand Russell. There are a few more recent prominent agnostics who might fill the role, but I think it is better that history render a verdict before we elevate someone into the pantheon.

Secondly, your wine & cheese ceremony…

This is a matter of personal taste, and everyone should make their own decisions. As most of my wine consumption is home-made, (I just finished bottling 7 1/2 cases or 18 gallons and just started the same amount in primary fermentation) I am not all that familiar with commercial labels. But, when I do buy, I have a family weakness for Tyrrell wines from Australia. They are quite good, and generally reasonably priced. For crackers, my preference is Stoned Wheat Thins. And in the cheese line, I most like Stilton, and aged cheddar. If you can find a 7-year old cheddar made from unpasteurized milk, then you could almost believe in heaven. All of these things, my doctor tells me, are bad for my blood pressure.