Ask the Patriarch

The Patriarch of the Church regularly receives questions from visitors to the site. An arbitrary selection of these questions together with replies will be posted here. Answers posted will not necessarily be identical to those originally provided to the petitioner. In general I’d like to provide serious answers to facetious questions and vice versa. Unfortunately, it does not always work out that way.

Latest questions

• Ask the Patriarch 277: Looking for purpose
• Ask the Patriarch 276: Is there anyone like you?
• Ask the Patriarch 275: Organizing a local meeting
• Ask the Patriarch 274: Am I A Good Fit Here?
• Ask the Patriarch 273: How Do I Donate?
• Ask the Patriarch 272: Zeitgeist
• Ask the Patriarch 271: Do you believe in an invisible cup in space?
• Ask the Patriarch 270: From Pointlessness to Pascal
• Ask the Patriarch 269: I’m Ukranian — Just give me some money
• Ask the Patriarch 268: Looking for common beliefs and outlooks

All the questions:

1. Do I have to wear a veil?
2. Please ordain me as…
3. The Annals of Interesting Spelling
4. Ordain me to preach Christianity
5. Can I still go to Church?
6. Do you believe in UFOs?
7. Let me have my husband back
8. Send money for my ministry
9. Should I fake my religion so my fiancee will marry me?
10. What religion am I?
11. Cut the free service
12. What do you do with personal information?
13. Compliments and Questions
14. Coping with fundamentalists
15. Why are people so stupid?
16. As an Agnostic, how do I swear?
17. Questions on God
18. An Agnostic position on Jesus
19. Celebrate April Fool’s Day
20. I need your help/support
21. What do you believe?
22. An Agnostic Assignment
23. The Nigerian Banking Scam
24. Thanks for your web site
25. Atheist & Agnostic Singles
26. "Apathetic" is just a joke, right?
27. A High School Diploma?
28. Where do Agnostics Stand?
29. Do you have meetings?
30. We will work under your banner…
31. Is it possible to be ordained with no conviction at all?
32. Justify your ranking of the 10 Commandments
33. Please unordain me.
34. Apparel for Clergy.
35. The Meaning of Life
36. Are you making money?
37. What if I see God?
38. Would you consider a "Reform" church?
39. What Would Jesus Do?
40. I am joyed…
41. Can I Un-Baptise Myself
42. Yet Another School Project
43. And Yet Another School Project
44. On Speaking in Tongues
45. I Found Your Business Card at the Grand Canyon
46. Apatheism, Daoism, Agnosticism, and Football
47. Holy paradox
48. Teapots, Unicorns, & Gods
49. Grandmothers & Necklaces
50. What Religion am I?
51. What Religion am I? (2)
52. Are you connected to Satanism?
53. How do I Form a Church?
54. Are you taking the p…?
55. A Schismatic Group
56. What is your position on the Big Bang?
57. Stop Killing the Buffalo!
58. When are you going to help us…
59. Try Our Internet Streaming
60. I Need Intercessors & Sponsors
61. And my dog ate my homework, too.
62. Agnostic Symbolism
63. The "Proper Place" for Women
64. You don’t seem to support animal rights
65. Can I Pray?
66. The Low Quality of Talk Back
67. When will we see the "Women of ApatheticAgnostic.com?"
68. What do you do with addresses?
69. Shouldn’t you change the name?
70. Faking It by Speaking in Tongues
71. Why are you called a "church."
72. Can I Buy Merchandise
73. What is a Patriarch?
74. Are you serious or a joke?
75. Ordination of Gays and Lesbians
76. Should we have Saints?
77. Introducing Agnosticism
78. Why are white, Christian societies considered racist?
79. Books on Apathetic Agnosticism
80. Have you searched further
81. Foster this beautiful teachings
82. Do you object to union dues?
83. Bachelor of Lethargy
84. Agnosticism and weak atheism
85. Where to find Agnostic / Atheist women?
86. I don’t understand
87. Taking issue with the motto
88. Other Pantheons
89. A Super-Consciousness?
90. Did I Make a Prediction?
91. Temptation in the Wilderness
92. Is there an Agnostic Trinity?
93. Introducing morality without religion to a child
94. The "nothingness" of the universe
95. Views on the Devil & Halloween
96. An Architecture Project
97. Why don’t agnostics believe in anything?
98. Another Round of the Same Old Questions
99. My son’s school is sending out youth ministers
100. The Worldwide Church of Agnostics (WCA)
101. How does it affect your life?
102. The perfect religion
103. When will we become more organized?
104. A Morality FAQ?
105. Is there a theory that necessitates agnosticism?
106. Can I call myself Agnostic?
107. A shamanistic agnostic?
108. Does Occam’s Razor lead logically to agnosticism
109. Is there an Agnostic Bible?
110. Agnostic Economics?
111. Your 1st Article of Faith
112. Explain Evil and Suffering
113. My girlfriend is a Baptist
114. Grand Canyon Hike
115. Same Old Questions revisited…
116. Help me with a web page
117. Agnostic / Atheist churches
118. A Church for Underage Drinking
119. You don’t believe?
120. Where do you stand on evolution?
121. Will you ordain an atheist?
122. On Saying Grace
123. I have asked for your financial help
124. Do Agnostics Pray?
125. On Atheism
126. On Grieving
127. Are you for real?
128. Pilgrimage Suggestions
129. Have you published this?
130. Is there a Quad Cities Agnostics Group?
131. Filling the Void
132. I want to be a part of your site
133. How do I beat "parental" control filters?
134. I want to make a donation.
135. Is it possible for a Christian to become agnostic?
136. I have problems with the Articles of Faith
137. I’m doing some research about Agnosticism
138. Is this an Antichrist website?
139. A better way to read the site?
140. Please explain these occurrences to me?
141. That Hypothetical Simpson Interview
142. On Testimony
143. Where can I leave my estate to promote agnosticism?
144. What are your views on Ignosticism?
145. What are your personal views on current issues today?
146. This site is really disorganized
147. A New Acronym?
148. You still refer to 666 on your main page
149. The Articles of Faith
150. Same-sex marriage
151. Are Atheism and Deism subsets of Apathetic Agnosticism?
152. Science & Religion
153. Near Death Experiences
154. How do I tell people?
155. You are disrespectful of others’ belief systems
156. Pragmatic Arguments for Belief in God
157. Get the Falwell outta here!
158. What’s next? 
159. The First Article of Faith
160. A "brick and mortar" church.
161. I felt as if I was just in another church.
162. Rudolf Steiner
163. Aren’t you Apatheists?
164. Has Dawkins proved God does not exist?
165. Can I buy a doctorate?
166. Am I now an agnostic?
167. Fair Money?
168. Did Satan Sabotage The Passion?
169. A Gathering
170. Pentecostalism
171. Medical Issues
172. Mixed Marriage
173. Would you like to host “Techie Worlds”
174. Referring to God in an Oath of Office
175. Agnosticism and Angels
176. Cover our bible study group, so that we can work together
177. Teapots in Space
178. I do not understand why in the name of organization is the word church?
179. Is agnosticism a religion or a belief, or both?
180. What do you teach?
181. The need to believe
182. I don’t need a label, but people ask
183. Are agnostics prepared to critically and unbiasedly examine any and all claims?
184. My children are constantly being invited to Sunday School
185. Pronunciation of "Apatheism"
186. Any thoughts on ghosts & demons?
187. On secular grace
188. Why are you spending time, money and effort on this?
189. What are your policies on marital separation and divorce?
190. Do you believe morals exist?
191. Apparitions of the Virgin Mary
192. Earning a Scout merit Badge
193. Religulous
194. How about an Agnostic Bible?
195. I need spiritual and material help.
196. A church built on the agnostic premise
197. Help me publish a Zen interpretation of the Gospel of Thomas
198. Sending a subtle but non-offensive message?
199. Spend or Donate?
200. How can you be apathetic to the extreme damage, violence, and division that religion causes?
201. Clarification on being agnostic
202. Can I be an apathetic agnostic and still believe in ghosts etc.?
203. Why are you trying to disprove various religions?
204. Yes? or No?
205. Agnostics in one respect and atheists in another?
206. Community Service Requirement
207. This site could be more interactive.
208. Bible verses that contradict zealots.
209. What about Santa Claus?
210. Could it have been Adam and (St)Eve?
211. Website Guidelines
212. What’s your take on "The God Theory"?
213. Agnostic Culture
214. The Pope’s Flagellation
215. The Second Article of Faith
216. How can I convert without my mom getting mad at me?
217. What to tell the children?
218. What is the agnostic view on cloning?
219. Agnostic holidays
220. Pray for me
221. What do you think of all these sex scandals?
222. I want to start a "church"
223. What’s agnosticism all about?
224. Is eating meat ethical?
225. A proposal for a teen site
226. The difference between atheists and agnostics.
227. Leniency towards Atheism?
228. Identifying with a religious community
229. What should be my penance?
230. Reclamation (Complaint)
231. Reversal of After Death Baptism
232. I’m writing a school newspaper article
233. Union Dues
234. You’ve never written on homeopathy
235. 2012 and World’s End
236. I’d like an honorary doctorate
237. Ordain me under an obviously fake name
238. What does it mean to believe "on" Jesus
239. The Question of Original Sin
240. Responding to a "Merry Christmas"
241. Responding to "I’ll pray for you"
242. Another School Project – Church Statistics
243. Psychic Link Exchange Request
244. Christian College Link Request
245. Will I fit in as an agnostic?
246. What’s the point?
247. Looking for opinions on FB blocking
248. Secular Recovery Programs
249. Teaching Theology in Denmark
250. Your church’s views.
251. What Religion Am I?
252. Ordination and Marriage
253. Can Robots or A.I believe?
254. Secular Cancer Support Groups
255. World Religions School Project
256. Your view on psychics
257. Questioning the Old Testament
258. More questioning the Old Testament… and the New
259. What if God is real?
260. A dissatisfied Catholic
261. I’d like your opinion on my beliefs.
262. If there was a GOD and he showed you proof
263. What are your opinions on homosexuality?
264. How do I start my own church?
265. An Unwanted Baptism
266. Spirit and the Higher Self
267. Ask the Patriarch 267: How do I find out who the Mormons have baptized?
268. Ask the Patriarch 268: Looking for common beliefs and outlooks
269. Ask the Patriarch 269: I’m Ukranian — Just give me some money
270. Ask the Patriarch 270: From Pointlessness to Pascal
271. Ask the Patriarch 271: Do you believe in an invisible cup in space?
272. Ask the Patriarch 272: Zeitgeist
273. Ask the Patriarch 273: How Do I Donate?
274. Ask the Patriarch 274: Am I A Good Fit Here?
275. Ask the Patriarch 275: Organizing a local meeting
276. Ask the Patriarch 276: Is there anyone like you?
277. Ask the Patriarch 277: Looking for purpose